Dana Carvey impersonating Ross Perot: "I'm tryin' to save
our nation. Let me put it to you this way, folks. Please. This country's in
trouble. Lemme just say... you can squat on a pit bull, but that don't get you
Carvey: "... unless the pit bull makes the pie!"
Carvey as Johnny Carson: "That, that is some weird, wild stuff. That is
funny. I did not know that would be so funny."
Hartman as Ed McMahon: "Ha ha! Yes! Ha ha."
Chevy Chase: "Candy-gram"
Chevy Chase: "Good evening, I'm Chevy Chase ... and you're not."
Sfx we hear when the Coneheads touch their cones together.
Jane Curtain: "You are a very sleazy man."
Announcer: "And now Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey."
Molly Shannon and Will Ferrell: "Dog Show!"
Chris Farley: "Now, as your father told you, my name is Matt Foley, and I am
a motivational speaker. Before I begin, I ought to tell you a little about
myself so you'll know where I'm coming from. First off, I am 35 years old, I am
thrice divorced, and I live in a van down by the river!"
Chris Farley: "Well, I'm here to tell ya that you're probably gonna find out,
as you go out there, that you're not going to amount... to jack squat!"
Chris Farley: " 'I don't know.' Well, that and a nickel will get you a hot
cup o' jack squat!"
Chris Farley: "Well, la-dee-frickin'-dah!"
Chris Farley: "Sweet mother of God! What is the hold-up??"
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