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David Letterman TV Show Sound Bites



This site provides a huge number of downloadable wav files from over 90 Television (TV) Shows.

NOTE: All logos, sounds & artwork retain their original copyright. All files are for provided for research, educational, criticism, or review for purchase purposes. These files were collected from a number of publicly accessible sites on the web that made no mention or assertion of copyright over these files or the collection. These files are provided on this site under fair use purely for your own personal use and enjoyment. Any copyright assertions on these files belong to the original copyright owners. If you are the copyright owner of a file on this website and you object to it being here please contact me with details and I will be happy to remove the file or provide the necessary citation of the original copyright owner. A full disclaimer is available here.

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David Letterman TV Show Sound Bites

Page 3 of 4

New_york.wav
Dave: "New York, New York... the town so nice, they named it twice."

New_york_waiter.wav
Dave: "Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I must apologize. I am sweating like a New York waiter."

Nine_newspapers.wav
Dave: "I read nine newspapers a day."

Nineteen.wav
Dave: "Nineteen percent of the people polled... and I think we all know how painful that can be."

Ninnies.wav
Dave: "Go ahead, touch me again."
Janine Turner: "Ah, ha, ha!"
Dave: "We're behaving like ninnies!"

No_idea.wav
Dave: "I have no idea what the hell happened or what to do about it."

Not_a_jerk.wav
Dave: "I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm not a jerk... but I play one on TV."
 



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Not_an_animal.wav
Paul: "I am not an animal! I'm a human being!"

Not_getting_screwed.wav
Dave: "So for a change, we're not the ones who get screwed."

Now_heres_dave.wav
Hokie segue music.

O_holy_night.wav
Paul Shaffer doing his famous imitation of Cher singing O Holy Night.

Obvious.wav
Dave: "Ya know, it must be obvious to even the most casual observers that I get the answers to life's difficult questions from the screaming voices in my head."

Oh_geez_my_back.wav
Dave: "Oh, geez, my back is out again! Paul, help! My back is out!"

Only_thing.wav
Dave: "We're the only thing on NBC right now."

Our_good_friend.wav
Dave: "Now, kids, do us a favor and say hello to our good friend Paul Shaffer."
Audience cheers.

Owns_nbc.wav
Dave Letterman: "Uh, yesterday, ladies and gentlemen, General Electric, the company that owns NBC... Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Radio_waves.wav
Dave: "I know for a fact them radio waves is harmful."

Raking_a_yard.wav
Dave: "Yes, it's the haircut again, Paul. This is the haircut that makes me look like I ought to be raking a yard at a state facility."

Rehearsal.wav
Dave: "Yesterday afternoon we're doing our rehearsal... Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

Road_to_hell.wav
Dave: "This ain't no technological breakdown... This is the road to hell. Ha, ha!"

Robotic_arm.wav
Dave: "Ah, tonight ladies and gentlemen, the presentation of our viewer mail, as always, is being assisted by the Westinghouse Puma 206 Access Robotic Arm. Here it is, right there."

Same_guy.wav
Dave imitating an audience member: "Who picks out your ties? The same guy who cuts your hair?"

Screw_you.wav
Dave: "Aw, screw you."

Screw_you2.wav
Dave: "Awww, screw you."

Screw_you3.wav
Dave: "Screw you!"

Shirtless_fat_guys.wav
Dave: "Man alive, it's not even May, and already New York City is clogged with shirtless fat guys."

Show_bidness.wav
Dave: "Ya know, for me, the best thing about being in show bidness is being able to say, 'Show bidness.' "

Shut_up.wav
Dave: "Hey, shut up, will ya??"

Sick.wav
Dave: "On tonight's program, ladies and gentlemen, we have something that's gonna make you sick."

Sickening.wav
Dave: "You've already seen that, and yet you still have something sickening to look forward to."

Snapped.wav
Dave: "No, I'm not talking to you, hey, hey, I'll run the show, all right? You just, you just sit there and be entertained, okay?? Ha, ha, ha, excuse me -- I snapped for a minute."

Some_kind_of_spell.wav
Dave in his sissy voice: "I believe I'm having some kind of spell!"."

Someone_hep_me.wav
Dave: "Please, someone hep me."

Something_weasly.wav
Dave: "I think there's something weasely going on."

Steinbrenner.wav
Dave: "Steinbrenner sucks."

Still_here.wav
Dave: "Ah, tomorrow on the program, ladies and gentlemen... that is, if we're still here -- Ha, ha, ha!"

Stop_your_whining.wav
Dave: "Oh, stop your whining or I'll come up there and slap ya."

Stupid_pet_tricks.wav
Dave: "All right -- Oh! We're going to do Stupid Pet Tricks. We haven't done this in quite some time, and, uh, you understand the gist of this. People and their beloved pets, they come on, they do little stunts, they do little tricks... This is only an exhibition, this is not a competition. Please, as always, ladies and gentlemen... no wagering."

Suck.wav
Dave: "You guys suck!"

Supermarket_finds.wav
Paul singing: "Supermarket finds, exchanging glances, supermarket finds..."

Swami_music.wav
Paul playing the swami music for the Amazing Kreskin.

Sweet_little_cupcake.wav
Little girl: "I'm a sweet little cupcake... baked by the Devil!"
 

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