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David Letterman TV Show Sound Bites



This site provides a huge number of downloadable wav files from over 90 Television (TV) Shows.

NOTE: All logos, sounds & artwork retain their original copyright. All files are for provided for research, educational, criticism, or review for purchase purposes. These files were collected from a number of publicly accessible sites on the web that made no mention or assertion of copyright over these files or the collection. These files are provided on this site under fair use purely for your own personal use and enjoyment. Any copyright assertions on these files belong to the original copyright owners. If you are the copyright owner of a file on this website and you object to it being here please contact me with details and I will be happy to remove the file or provide the necessary citation of the original copyright owner. A full disclaimer is available here.

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David Letterman TV Show Sound Bites

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Take_me.wav
Dave: "If I clean the garage, will you take me to wrestlin'?"

Take_off_your_pants.wav
Dave: "All right, all right, all right, I got an idea. Take off your pants!"
Paul: "My what?"
Dave: "Take off your pants!"

Thank_you.wav
Dave: "Thank you for all the fun! Thank you!"

Thats_right.wav
Dave: "That's right... I have the strength of ten men."

Them_bats.wav
Dave: "Them bats is smart; they use radar."

Theory_about_madonna.wav
Dave: "I have a theory about Madonna... I think she loves to shock us."

There_used_to_be.wav
Dave: "Uh, there used to be, a couple of years ago, a woman who would break into my house."
 



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They_dont_want.wav
Paul: "Dave, uh, I meant to speak to you about something before the show."
Dave: "Yeah, what's the matter?"
Paul: "They don't want you to do the masturbation scene tonight."

This_place_blows.wav
Dave: "This place blows."

This_stuff.wav
Dave: "By the way, ladies and gentlemen, as always ... this stuff in lieu of actual entertainment."

Tie_too_tight.wav
Dave: "I wonder if my tie is too tight... cutting off blood flow to the brain."
Paul: "No, no, no."

Tissue.wav
Dave: "Do we have a tissue? Is there a tissue?"

Twenty-two_pounds.wav
Dave: "Twenty-two pounds of chickens, 18 eggplants."

Uhhooooh.wav
Dave: "Uhhooooh!"

Very_exciting.wav
Dave: "This is very, very exciting."

Waah_waah.wav
"Waah waah" sfx.

Wake_the_kids.wav
Dave: "Ladies and gentlemen, wake the kids, phone the neighbors."

Wave_to_america.wav
Phone rings.
Dave: "There, going for the phone, picks it up, and now saying..."
Meg: "Hello. Publicity."
Dave: "Hi, Meg, it's me, Dave, over here at NBC."
Meg: "Hi!"
Dave: "Turn around and wave to America."
Audience cheers.

We_have_to_go.wav
Dave: "Uh, we have to go. Good night, everybody."

Weasel.wav
Dave: "Oh, there they go! They're chanting weasel again."
Audience: "Weasel, weasel, weasel ..."
Dave: "Oh, that's enough. Hey, hey, hey!....... Weasel, weasel..."
Audience: "Weasel, weasel, weasel!"

Weasely.wav
Dave: "Could I be a little more weasely?"
Paul: "To what do we owe this outburst of weaseliness?"

Website_every.wav
Dave: "I don't know if you know this about me. You might have read it. It's been written up in various area periodicals. I have, in my spare time, visited every web site on the Internet... I've seen them all."

Welcome.wav
Dave: "Welcome to New York City. Welcome to the show. I'm Dave."

Welcome1.wav
Dave: "Thank you very much, folks. Welcome to the alleged show. Thank you."

Welcome2.wav
Dave: "Uh, welcome to the program, ladies and gentlemen."

What.wav
Dave: "What?"

What_is_wrong_with_you.wav
Dave: "What is wrong with you?!"

What_the_hell.wav
Dave: "Yo, what the hell??"

What_the_hell2.wav
Dave: "What the hell are you doing?"

Whats_the_matter.wav
Dave: "Haa, what's the matter, Al?"
Al Marr: "I thought if I shake it a little, it might do something."
Dave: "Good idea... Usually works for you, doesn't it, Al?"

Who_gives.wav
Pete Fatovich: "Who gives a rat's ass?"

Will_you_relax.wav
Dave Letterman: "Will you relax? Will you get off my back? Will you give me a minute to think? Easy, easy! You're driving me too hard! Give me a break! I need to think! I need time!"

Worms_and_insects.wav
Anton Figg: "I love autumn because the birds fly south for the winter, and that leaves more worms and insects for me."

Wow.wav
Dave: "Wow!"

Yah_pinhead.wav
Dave: "Ya pinhead!"

Ya_weasels.wav
Dave: "Yeah... Hey, that's uncalled for! I'll clear this courtroom, ya weasels!"

Yes_marv.wav
Marv Albert: "Yes!"

You_babies.wav
Dave: "You babies."

You_guys_suck.wav
Dave: "Hello, you're on the air."
Caller: "Hi Paul, hi Dave."
Dave: "Hi."
Caller: "You know, uh, most of the people who support this thing don't realize that... you guys suck!"

You_shut_your_mouth.wav
Paul: "You shut your mouth, you gap-toothed weasel!"
Dave: "Oh yeah, why don't you shut yours, you Canadian geek!"
Paul: "Hey, go to hell, you cross-eyed bastard!"
Dave: "Hey, you do the same, toad boy!"
Paul: "Listen, you've had this coming for years, Letterman!"
Sfx: Crash.
Dave: "Ahh! ... I'm gonna kill you!"

You_sonofabitch.wav
Dave: "You sonofabitch!"

You_suck.wav
Dave: "Yeah, let's go to the phones now. Uh, hi there, you're on the air."
Caller: "Hi. Uh, you know, I think the real, uh, the problem with this is that... you suck, Letterman!"

You_weasels.wav
Dave: "You weasels."

Zeppelin.wav
Dave: "And now some more Zeppelin, Stairway to Heaven."

Zip.wav
Dave: "Paul, nice to see you. Nice to see everybody in the band."
Paul: "Good to see you, sir."
Dave: "Uh, of course, Sid McGinnis, Will Lee, and Antoinne Zip, our drummer."
Paul: "That would be Anton Fig."
Dave: "Anton Figg, yes."

Zip-lock.wav
Dave: "Zip-Lock my ass!"
 

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