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David Letterman TV Show Sound Bites

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hahaha2.wav
Calvert DeForest as Larry Bud Melman, laughing.

hal_gurnee.wav
Dave: "Is everyone in the control room ready?"
Hal: "Yes."
Dave: "Hal Gurnee. Racing legend, Emmy Award winning director, Hal Gurnee."

harry_potter.wav
Dave: "Everybody's talking about this, uh, Harry Potter book, and it's called, uh, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."

heart_is_racing.wav
Dave: "My heart is racing like a little bunny!"

heeheehee.wav
Dave: "Hee hee hee."

hello.wav
Dave: "Huh? What? Hello."

hello_everybody.wav
Calvert DeForest as Larry Bud Melman: "Hello, everybody! I love you for loving me! Good-bye!"
 

hello_girls.wav
Dave: "Why, hello, girls."

hepme.wav
Dave: "Hep me."

here_we_come.wav
Dave: "Yes, sir, CBS, here we come."

hey.wav
Dave: "Hey!"

hey_hal.wav
Dave: "Hey, Hal, can you hear me in there?"
Hal Gurnee: "Yeah, Dave."

hey_lady.wav
Dave: "It's Paul Shaffer's synchronized Jerry Lewis impressions. Paul?"
Paul: "Hey, lady! Lady! Hey, Dave! Hey!" (etc., etc.)

hey_screw_you.wav
Dave: "Hey, screw you. What the hell -- I don't need this."

hi_kids.wav
Dave: "Hi, kids!"
Kids: "Hi, Dave!"

hint.wav
Dave: "Here's a hint from Heloise for ya -- Go screw yourself!"

honey_pie.wav
Paul Shaffer singing the theme to the Pie Chart segment.

hot_buffet.wav
Dave: "Free hot buffet, right after the show!"

huh.wav
Dave: "Huh?"

hypmotized.wav
Dave: "Hypmotized!"

internet_reason.wav
Dave: "And, it's the reason Al Gore invented the Internet."

keep_touchin_you.wav
Janine Turner: "And then when I won that, I had to go to Lumous ... I keep touchin' you on the knee. Yaahaha! Sorry!"

kennedy_formula.wav
Dave: "Here we have the Ted Kennedy formula expressed for us tonight in the Charts and Graphs segment. All right, watch closely. Kennedy, plus Chivas Regal, minus pants, equals top-notch television comedy."

king_of_rappers.wav
Dave: "I like to think of myself as king of the rappers."

let_me_see.wav
Dave: "Let me see some identification, ya little weasel!"

lets_go.wav
Dave: " 'You got a problem?' Okay, let's go, fat-ass!"

lettermans_shoes.wav
Phil Donahue: "What the hell is up with Letterman's shoes? -- On the next Donahue."

lovely_beverage.wav
Dave: "I don't believe there's a man, woman, or child alive today who doesn't enjoy a lovely beverage."

lozenge.wav
Dave: "Does anyone have a lozenge?"

machine1.wav
Dave: "I could do this all night, as a matter of fact. Ya know why? -- I'm a machine!"

madonna.wav
Howard Stern: "So I come out and I say, 'I'm Madonna, and I love to shock. And what I'm gonna do... is pick a big booger out of my nose.' "

mail_skippy.wav
Dave: "Congratulations, Skippy. You've got mail."

man_of_year.wav
Dave: "Uh, I guess, uh, first week in January, Time Magazine named, uh, their Man of the Year. Ted Turner was named Man of the Year. And today, Time Magazine named their Uncle of the Year... Ted Kennedy."

misdialed.wav
Dave dialing phone: "Oh, I've misdialed! Damn! damn!"

my_face.wav
Dave: "Oh, boy, is my face red."

my_motto.wav
Dave: "My motto is: If you can't make 'em laugh, make 'em sick."

my_parents.wav
Dave: "My parents were circus people."

my_show.wav
Dave: "Oh, by the way, my name is Dave, it's my show, I'm sorry."
 

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