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The Andy Griffith TV Show Sound Bites

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Andy Griffith Show Sound Bites (Page 2 of 4)

Jim Nabors: "You know who else he can do?"
Andy Griffith: "Uh, no."
Nabors: "Edward G. Robinson. Do Edward G. Robinson for him, Goober. Listen to this, Andy. Go on, Goob. Edward G. Robinson."
George Lindsey: "Okay, you guys, c'mon, you guys, all right, you guys, beat it, you guys."

Don Knotts: "Don't rush it, Floyd, don't rush it."
Howard McNear as Floyd: "Well, I'm so busy, I -- business coming in and out and everything... What do you mean, 'rush?' "
Knotts: "I don't want the fast treatment, that's what I mean."
McNear: "This is just a haircut, ya know! It isn't a brain operation!"

Ron Howard as Opie Taylor: "I'm-a drawin' on you, Sheriff. Draw."
Andy Griffith: "Aw, why don'tcha turn yourself in peaceful-like, son. You'll get a fair trial."
Ron Howard: "Nope. I'm the fastest gun in the West."
Griffith: "Well, you're the shortest. I'll say that."

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Andy Griffith: "All right, Ernest T., how you keep gettin' in and out of here?"
Don Knotts: "C'mon, Bass, speak up!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "I ain't talkin', I ain't talkin'. The more you're askin', the more I'm balkin'!"

Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "I don't chew my cabbage twice. And you ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!"

Army doctor: "Well, Mr. Bass, you have all of your teeth. Where were you planning to put the gold one?"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "Oh, right here in front. See these three here? I's gonna knock them out, put the gold one right in the center, leave a space on each side ... that'd stand out better that way. 'specially when I'm dancin'!"

Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "This here's Ernest T. Bass here."

Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "If you're wonderin' who I'll be, it's me, it's me, it's Ernest T.!"

Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "Howdy-do to you and you. It's me, it's me, it's Ernest T.! Yee hee hee!"

Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass, singing: "Ole Aunt Miriah, jump in the fire. Fire too hot, jump in the pot. Pot too black, jump in the crack. Crack too high, jump in the sky. Sky too blue, jump in canoe. Canoe too shallow, jump in the tallow. Tallow too soft, jump in the loft. Loft too rotten, jump in the cotton. Cotton so white she stayed there all night!"

Don Knotts: "All right, Ernest T. Bass, you stand still, and that's an order!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "If a duck stands still you can catch 'im by the bill! Honk! Honk!"

Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "Howdy, Sheriff. Howdy, Deputy."
Andy Griffith: "Ernest T.!"
Morris: "Surprise, surprise! I can see it in your eyes!"

Don Knotts: "Ernest T. Bass!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "One and the same -- Bass is the name! Hee hee hee!"

Don Knotts as Barney Fife: "They're doin' an awful lot with ESP these days."
George Lindsey as Goober: "Whatsat?"
Knotts: "ESP? Extra Sensitive Perception."

Woman: "You have the clearest, bluest, most honest eyes. Oh, they're wonderfully clear and blue."
Howard McNear as Floyd Lawson: "Uh yes, they're sort of an azure."

Don Knotts: "Well, did you know that the size of a horse's eyes are the same at birth as they are when he's fully grown?"

Don Knotts: "Well, it's famous stuff. A lot of celebrities use that. Radio announcers and everything."

Don Knotts: "Well, I'm fed up, too! I'm sick of the whole thing, too!"

Don Knotts: "I feel sorry for you, baby. You had your chance to fly with me, but you wasn't woman enough. Now the balloon's going up withoutcha."

Theme song.

Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle: "See ya, Ope. Tell your Aunt Bee Gomer says hey!"

Howard McNear as Floyd: "Maude? Al ... Those hamburgers are ruined! I won't be responsible."


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