Andy Griffith: "All right, Ernest T., how you keep gettin' in and out of
Don Knotts: "C'mon, Bass, speak up!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "I ain't talkin', I ain't talkin'. The more
you're askin', the more I'm balkin'!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "I don't chew my cabbage twice. And you
ain't heard the last of Ernest T. Bass!"
Army doctor: "Well, Mr. Bass, you have all of your teeth. Where were you
planning to put the gold one?"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "Oh, right here in front. See these three
here? I's gonna knock them out, put the gold one right in the center, leave a
space on each side ... that'd stand out better that way. 'specially when I'm
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "This here's Ernest T. Bass here."
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "If you're wonderin' who I'll be, it's me,
it's me, it's Ernest T.!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "Howdy-do to you and you. It's me, it's me,
it's Ernest T.! Yee hee hee!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass, singing: "Ole Aunt Miriah, jump in the fire.
Fire too hot, jump in the pot. Pot too black, jump in the crack. Crack too high,
jump in the sky. Sky too blue, jump in canoe. Canoe too shallow, jump in the
tallow. Tallow too soft, jump in the loft. Loft too rotten, jump in the cotton.
Cotton so white she stayed there all night!"
Don Knotts: "All right, Ernest T. Bass, you stand still, and that's an order!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "If a duck stands still you can catch 'im by
the bill! Honk! Honk!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "Howdy, Sheriff. Howdy, Deputy."
Andy Griffith: "Ernest T.!"
Morris: "Surprise, surprise! I can see it in your eyes!"
Don Knotts: "Ernest T. Bass!"
Howard Morris as Ernest T. Bass: "One and the same -- Bass is the name! Hee
Don Knotts as Barney Fife: "They're doin' an awful lot with ESP these days."
George Lindsey as Goober: "Whatsat?"
Knotts: "ESP? Extra Sensitive Perception."
Woman: "You have the clearest, bluest, most honest eyes. Oh, they're
wonderfully clear and blue."
Howard McNear as Floyd Lawson: "Uh yes, they're sort of an azure."
Don Knotts: "Well, did you know that the size of a horse's eyes are the same
at birth as they are when he's fully grown?"
Don Knotts: "Well, it's famous stuff. A lot of celebrities use that. Radio
announcers and everything."
Don Knotts: "Well, I'm fed up, too! I'm sick of the whole thing, too!"
Don Knotts: "I feel sorry for you, baby. You had your chance to fly with me,
but you wasn't woman enough. Now the balloon's going up withoutcha."
Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle: "See ya, Ope. Tell your Aunt Bee Gomer says hey!"
CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE ANDY GRIFFITHS SHOW PAGE 3
Howard McNear as Floyd: "Maude? Al ... Those hamburgers are ruined! I won't
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