Pam (on intercom): "It's Pam."
Seinfeld: "C'mon up."
Seinfeld: "I can't believe I'm losing Pam!"
Michael Richards: "It's payback time!"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Elaine: "I will never understand people."
Seinfeld: "They're the worst."
Seinfeld: "Elaine, what percentage of people would you say are good-looking?"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Twenty-five percent?"
Seinfeld: "Twenty-five percent?"
Seinfeld: "No way! It's like four-to-six percent. It's a 20-to-1 shot."
Louis-Dreyfus: "You're way off."
Seinfeld: "Way off?"
Seinfeld: "Have you been to the motor vehicle bureau? It's a leper colony
Louis-Dreyfus: "So, basically, what you're saying is 95 percent of the
population is un-date-able?"
Louis-Dreyfus: "Then how are all these people getting together?"
Jerry Stiller as Frank Costanza: "You want a piece o' me??"
Michael Richards: "Hey, I just saw a pig-man ... a pig-man!"
Wayne Knight: "I'm a United States postal worker."
Jason Alexander: "Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back
with a gun and shoot everybody?"
Seinfeld: "Why is that?"
Knight: "Because the mail never stops. Every day it piles up more and more
and more, and you've gotta get it out, but the more you get it out, the more it
keeps coming in! And then the bar code reader breaks, and it's Publisher's
Seinfeld: "All right, all right!"
Michael Richards: "Jerry, I'm tellin' ya I have this power... and I have no
control over it."
Michael Richards: "These pretzels are makin' me thirsty."
Seinfeld: "It seems like every week a whole new set of problems would just
crop up out of nowhere."
Michael Richards: "So, you're all in here together!... Well, how
convenient!... I hope you're all very proud of yourselves!"
Teri Hatcher: "And, by the way... they're real, and they're spectacular."
Seinfeld: "Are you serious?"
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: "Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to save the
The funky bass riff we hear at the commercial break during Seinfeld.
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