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The Honeymooners TV Show Sound Bites

bang_zoom.wav
Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden: "Bang, zoom!"

big_mouth.wav
Jackie Gleason: "I got a big mouth!!"

blabbermouth.wav
Jackie Gleason: "You... are a blabbermouth!"

bum.wav
Jackie Gleason: "You... are a bum."

expert.wav
Jackie Gleason: "What do you mean, I'm not an expert?"
 

greatest.wav
Jackie Gleason: "Baby, you’re the greatest."

hamana.wav
Jackie Gleason: "Hamana, hamana, hamana."

har.wav
Jackie Gleason: "Har-har-har-dee-har-har."

help.wav
Audrey Meadows as Alice Kramden: "I'm not gonna help you make an idiot out of yourself."
Jackie Gleason: "I don't need your help. I'll do it myself."

icky.wav
Jackie Gleason: "What does 'icky' mean?"
Art Carney as Ed Norton: "I don't know. Why?"
Gleason: "Alice just said I was icky."
Carney: "Must mean fat."

killer.wav
Audrey Meadows, seductively: "I won't be gone long, killer. I call you 'killer' cuz you slay me."
Jackie Gleason: "And I'm calling Belleview, cuz you're nuts!"

king.wav
Jackie Gleason: "Listen to this! Get something in your head, Alice! I'm the king here! Remember that. This house is my castle! I'm the king! Remember that! King, king, king! You are nothing, a peasant! This is my house, my castle! I'm the king!"

letter.wav
Jackie Gleason: "Hey, here's a little letter. I've been waiting for this."

older.wav
Art Carney: "But, I guess as time goes on, I grew older. I matured."
Jackie Gleason: "Yeah, now you're a full-grown nut."

one_day.wav
Jackie Gleason: "One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!"

one_day2.wav
Audrey Meadows: "One of these days, Ralph... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!"

peanuts.wav
Jackie Gleason: "Peanuts, peanuts. What am I gonna do with peanuts?"
Audrey Meadows: "Eat 'em, like any other elephant."

revenge.wav
Audrey Meadows: "You men just think that you own this world."
Jackie Gleason: "Yeah, but you women get revenge. You marry us."

riot2.wav
Jackie Gleason: "You're a riot, Alice. You're a regular riot. Hope they like those jokes on the Moon 'cause that's where you're goin'."

road_map.wav
Art Carney: "Everybody please be calm. Don't worry about a thing. I know exactly where we are, and I don't need no road map, either."
Jackie Gleason: "How can you do that?"
Carney: "Well, the Sun is over there. That means, uh, that's the west, there's the north, and there's the south."
Gleason: "Well, where are we?"
Carney: "Right smack in the middle."

sewer_worker.wav
Art Carney: "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."

shaddup.wav
Audrey Meadows: "Aaaaaahhh, shaddup."

smoke.wav
Art Carney: "Ralph?"
Jackie Gleason: "What."
Carney: "Mind if I smoke?"
Gleason: "I don't care if ya burn."

weight.wav
Jackie Gleason: "The bills will get bigger and bigger, and I'll get less to eat. I'll start losing weight. Then you know what I'll look like?"
Audrey Meadows: "Yeah, a human being."
 

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